As such, George vows to never masturbate again. George’s mother stumbles upon him masturbating in her house, and, in her shock, winds up in the hospital. So, here in 2016, over 20 years later, where does “The Contest” fit into our modern world?įor those who do not recall, and given how often Seinfeld airs in syndication this may be an exercise in futility, here’s a brief synopsis of the plot. That can’t help but date “The Contest” to some degree. Way back then, they had to talk around the subject on a network show. It pushed the envelope, even though it never mentioned the topic at hand. For the time that it aired, it was an incredibly edgy half-hour of television. It’s considered, by many, if not most, to be one of the greatest Seinfeld episodes of all time. You and your goodtime buddies… I’ve got a flash for you, joy boy.“The Contest” won Larry David an Emmy Award for writing, and was named the best TV episode of all time by TV Guide in 2009. This is about that kid’s right to read a book without getting his mind warped. Doesn’t he deserve better? Look, if you think this is about overdue fines and missing books, you’d better think again. What about that kid, sitting down, opening a book right now in a branch of the local library and finding pictures of pee-pees and wee-wees in The Cat in the Hat and The Five Chinese Brothers. Maybe we can live without libraries, people like you and me… Maybe. Yeah, I know what you’re thinking: Why’s this guy making such a big stink about old library books? Let me give you a hint, junior. I’ve seen your type before - flashy, making the scene, flaunting convention. “Let me tell you something, funny boy… You know that little stamp? The one that says New York Public Library? Well, that may not mean anything to you, but that means a lot to me. This is one the best Seinfeld episodes of all time, concluding with Bookman’s impassioned speech about libraries: Also, Kramer begins dating the naughty librarian. Jerry vividly remembers returning Tropic of Capricorn and loaning Tropic of Cancer to George. Bookman hunts down Jerry for a 20-year-late library book, Jerry and George argue about whether they actually returned the book in high school. Tropic of Cancer and Tropic of Capricorn, the naughty tomes by Henry Miller, are the comedy cornerstones of an entire episode! When a library cop named Mr. This quote, from Jerry: “You know, when you read Moby Dick the second time, Ahab and the whale become good friends.” Context: Jerry tells George that it doesn’t matter if he leaves books at a newly-ex-girlfriend’s apartment, because he read them all, and what’s the point of re-reading?ġ. I hate my voice.” So, George endeavors to find the text book Risk Management on tape from Books for the Blind - but the guy reading the book sounds just like George, too! Again, not a specific literary reference, but don’t you think if Seinfeld were still around now, they’d do a send up of ereading and the fear around traditional publishing?Ģ. But he keeps falling asleep, claiming he can’t read anymore because books on tape have ruined him - he needs “that nice voice. George gets a job with the Yankees, partially by lying on his résumé that he’s a “risk management expert.” So before he gives a presentation to Steinbrenner on his area of expertise, he has to read up on the subject. Testikov explains that Tolstoy didn’t need inspiration – “God spoke through his pen.” And Elaine counters with this gem: “ Although one wonders if War and Peace would have been as highly acclaimed as it was, had it been published under its original title War, What Is It Good For.” The grouchy Testikov doesn’t take kindly to that assertion.ģ. That, according to Elaine (via a joking-around Jerry), as she tries to impress her boss and make conversation with a grouchy Russian writer named Yuri Testikov. Another little-known fact: Leo Tolstoy’s original title for War and Peace was War, What Is It Good For. Really out of left field, this reference - which is what makes it so funny.Ĥ. Little-known fact: It was the father of George’s fiancé Susan who was John Cheever’s illicit-affair-mate! Didn’t see that coming, did you? Of course, this is satirizing the famous Cheever letters - published after Cheever’s death in 1982, and revealing his bisexuality and long affair with a man. By signing up you agree to our terms of useĥ. Thank you for signing up! Keep an eye on your inbox.
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